The Illusion of Control: Why We Want to Control Everything

Sometimes chance can decide for you at a crucial moment, but admitting it is very scary. After all, it’s easier to live with attitudes that we are able to manage circumstances and control our own and other people’s actions.

You have become a team leader, entrusted with managing an entire project. You scrupulously think over goals and objectives, distribute responsibilities among employees. But you constantly feel like you or your team might be missing something. You regularly check everything, carefully monitor every step of your employees. But suddenly you get sick and have to be treated at home. When you return to the office a week later, a problem suddenly arises that forces you to redo half the work. You are bursting with anger, because if you had not gotten sick, perhaps this would not have happened. This is an example of the illusion of control, when it seems to a person that he is able to influence circumstances. But in fact, only chance is to blame here.

What is the illusion of control?

The illusion of control is a cognitive distortion that convinces us that only our actions determine the success of a business. Scientists conducted a study in which they observed dice players. When a player wanted to get a big number, he made a strong dice roll. When he needed a small number, he made less effort during the throw. But the strength of the throw cannot affect the result in any way, and the players still continue to try to influence the circumstances.

Why is it important for us to control everything?

There are two types of situations: the first type – work, relationships, hobbies, which require the manifestation of skills and abilities, the second type of situations – gambling, contests, lottery, in which the case has a greater influence. Where a person can influence circumstances, he takes action – studies the situation, develops a strategy, makes a decision. In situations in which chance decides, these actions are useless. But the person still continues to do something, hoping that this will help influence the result. On the one hand, the illusion of control helps us to remain optimistic and work harder, forgetting that all work can burn out in one minute. On the other hand, when things don’t go according to plan, the illusion of control makes you feel even more guilty about unforeseen situations.

How not to get hooked by the illusion of control?

1. Before starting an important task or work on a project, consider what is directly dependent on your actions and what cannot be predicted. This will help you calculate your actions more carefully and, in case of unforeseen problems, it is easier to survive the failure.
2. Stop developing different systems in situations where chance decides. Everyone wants stability and certainty, but in life this does not happen. Therefore, you should just accept this fact.
3. Don’t just blame yourself. If you have failed, then analyze what happened. If you overlooked, were too lazy or forgot something, then draw conclusions and proceed further. If chance intervened, just accept the fact that this happens in life.

For more information on how to learn to recognize your own and other people’s emotions, you can learn from the free online course “ Emotional intelligence: how to develop and use in a career ” in 60 minutes, which is available for everyone to learn.